It’s 7:43 a.m. and I’m over 4 hours into my day.
Lennon has had meltdowns, he has taken off his diaper at least three times, and he’s spent at least fifteen minutes tearing page after page out of a coloring book.
My initial thought?
I can’t do this anymore.
I’m tired. I’m sad. I’m overwhelmed. I’m bitter. I’m jealous. I’m unappreciated. I’m a quitter.
My house looks like a war zone. I started my workout at 5 a.m. but quit right away and ate a bowl of popcorn instead. Kenny is STILL asleep. There is no end in site for social distancing. The repetitive sounds of Lennon jumping on the trampoline and gassing his ride-on Jeep into the wall repeatedly are giving me a migraine. I’m trying to support my sister by attending her online classes. There is too much to do and not enough hours in the day. And my work day starts in under 30 minutes.
I cancelled Lennon’s 8 a.m. telehealth session – I’m just not in a good head space for that right now. And I absolutely hate it when Nicole sees how frustrated I can get on these video calls. I have cursed, I have cried, heck I think I’ve even thrown something.
All that said, I’m trying to do better for myself. And I remembered seeing this graphic on social media – it was talking about rephrasing the way we think.
For example, instead of saying “I have to take 3 hours out of my day to do telehealth with my child,” say, “I get to spend extra time with my child each day helping him progress.”
I couldn’t find the exact image I’m referring to, but I did find this one which I also liked:
Here goes …
- I had to make Lennon breakfast.
- Lennon took my iPad so I couldn’t use it.
- I’m picking up another dirty diaper off the floor.
- I can’t take care of Lennon and work full time.
- I get to make sure my son is eating healthy each morning.
- Lennon played some learning games and I enjoyed a few moments of peace.
- He has learned how to communicate that his diaper is uncomfortable.
- I’m fortunate that I still have a job during this pandemic and that I get to work from home with my child.
Obviously this is all easier said than done and I’m well aware how fortunate I am to have job security at a time like this. I’m lucky that telehealth sessions are working fine for Lennon. I’m grateful in general that I don’t need to leave the house for anything.
I guess the goal is that if you rephrase these things enough you start to do it automatically thus changing your entire outlook on the day ahead.
Try it, and let me know if it works for you.
I’ve heard some great things from people who make gratitude part of their daily practice. Some write in journals, some talk to themselves in the mirror, writing prompts, there are tons of ways out there. I did see this one that I really liked. Note: I liked it because it’s pretty and not too time consuming. Basically a sunburst with 30/31 spokes that you write one thing you are grateful for daily and color it in. I might have to try this!
Please comment and let me know what ideas you have for improving your mindset and having a gratitude attitude.