Hot apple fail

There are moments when you look at your child and think, “I’ve clearly done something right.” And other moments in life when you feel like a complete failure. Today was that day for me. I look at my son and still see perfection, but when I look at Kenny and I as parents I see disappointment.

Last week at Lennon’s 15 month check up our doctor submitted a referral to a speech language pathologist. Lennon doesn’t respond to his name yet and had yet to really talk. So, I was grateful for the referral. I want to know why and I want to know how we can have a positive impact on his progress.

A few days later, the agencies we referred to reached out. One, the Speech Therapy Center Of Excellence, touched base first and scheduled an appointment – their first available opening was mid-May. Then, Nevada Early Intervention contacted me. With them I chatted for about twenty minutes with Anna who asked a million questions. “Is he doing this? Can he do this yet? How many complete sentences? Does he sleep through the night?” I found myself repeating the same word. NO. It hurt more than I expected, I almost cried on the call. Was he supposed to be doing all these things?

Lennon feels so advanced in so many areas. He walked & ran at 10 months, he opened doors by the handle at 12 months, he eats like a champ, he knows how to talk (aka babble) on the phone and he puts keys in keyholes. There Is Nothing about this child that reads as though he should be having difficulties or falling behind.

All I can assume is that we’re screwing up as parents. We aren’t focusing on the developmental activities we should be. His evaluation appointment is less than 2 weeks away, I guess we’ll find out then.

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